Korean Cultural Customs

Things to remember, things to do and things to avoid doing while in Korea!

Take your shoes off!
It is disrespectful to enter someone’s home with your shoes on. In Korea they sit on the floor to eat and then roll out a sleeping mat onto the floor to sleep so it is important to keep the floor clean. Many Korean’s view westerners as backwards for keeping our shoes on in the house and I have actually seen some of Korean colleagues wrinkle their noses with disgust at the thought of sitting on carpet – especially carpet we have walked on with our outdoor shoes on!
For foreigners in Korea there are three things to remember:

- Take off your shoes when entering someone’s home
- Don’t try to tell Korean’s it’s ok for them to leave their shoes on
- Keep your floor clean!

Drinking
I was stunned when I got here to see Korean’s stumbling around in a drunken stupor after 9pm… I could not comprehend that it was socially acceptable for people to get legless in a culture that to me, as an outsider, had always seemed so rigid and formal. Korean’s live by a strict hierarchical social structure that is based around age. The older you are the more power you have… the one exception to this is when they are drinking! Drinking blurs the social boundaries and so behaviours’ that were not acceptable before suddenly are.
It has been suggested that public drunkenness was only the right of the men in Korea at one time, and the women’s jobs were to follow them around and get them home when they could barely walk, but with modernization such public displays are now the purview of all. I think there also has to be a correlation between this and the number of No Rae Bang’s (private karaoke rooms) that exist in Korea!

At this point I feel I should mention Soju – if only so that it will serve as a warning to other foreigners coming to Korea! Soju is served in a bottle the size of a Smirnoff Ice – but it packs a punch akin to vodka and they drink it straight. I had no idea quite how potent it was when I let my so-called friends talk me into a drinking game… all I have to say is “ouch”. There are a few important rules to remember when it comes to drinking soju with Koreans. Never pour your own, always pour for other people using two hands, and as a woman it is totally acceptable to mix your soju with juice or a soda of some description.

The Importance of rice.
In Korea rice is eaten with every meal… breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If someone asks you if you have eaten in Korea the direct translation is actually “have you eaten rice.” Do not be surprised if, when you ask students what their favourite food is, they answer with “rice”.
In Korea rice is eaten with a spoon and you should never lift the bowl off the table towards your mouth. You should never leave your chopsticks in the bowl of rice as this “reserves” the rice for the ancestors and you then can’t eat it.

Personal space
I intend to write a lengthier blog on this issue as it is one that confounds many westerners and takes time to get used to. Korea has 50 million people and is smaller than the state of South Australia…when you consider that there are roughly 25 million people in the WHOLE of Australia it makes it obvious that we are talking about a massive number of people squished into a small space. This means…. There is no such thing as personal space.

Korean’s are used to having to make their way through crowds, queue up for long periods, and elbow their way through to things they want to see. Older women, known as adjumma’s, know they have authority because of their age and so they are lethal – pushing you out the way and elbowing ruthlessly. On a crowded train people sit or stand shoulder to shoulder – touching other people is unavoidable. If you bump into someone going down the street it is most likely they will not say excuse me – they are not being rude it is just that if you said excuse me to every person you bumped into walking down the street they are the only words you would ever say!
Tip for foreigners – get used to it!

Nationalism / Patriotism
Korean’s are very proud of their country and their cultural identity. Less than 50 years ago South Korean’s were starving to death and now they have become one of the world’s richer countries. They are forging ahead and attempting to mesh a deep cultural history with a new modern identity.

Tip for foreigners – Don’t mention Japan, the sea of Japan, that anything that comes from Japan is good – and do not bring up Dokdo.

The Bow

When greeting, and departing, people give each other a slight bow which ranges from an inclination of the head to a full bow from the stomach. The depth of the bow indicates the rank of the person. i.e. a student may bow to a teacher with a deep bow from the stomach and the teacher will return the greeting with a nod of the head. It is a sign of respect and not a difficult thing for westerners to become accustomed to.
Men will often accompany the bow with a handshake, supporting or touching one arm with the other, however this is not something women do.

Names and titles.
It is considered impolite to address Korean’s by their first name which is why even in the staffroom you will hear teachers addressing each other as Sunsengnim, or Sam, which means teacher. As in traditional western culture it is polite to wait for an invitation to use their first name. It is also important to remember that Korean’s always put their family name first, i.e. Kim Yeo Na, Kim is the family name and the two names that follow are the first names. It does not work the same way as in western culture where we almost never use our “middle” names – “Yeo Na” would be seen as the first name – not two individual names.

The Korean Perspective of Time
If you are meeting with someone important they may say 11 am and then not arrive till 11:30… this is not a sign of disrespect!

I will also be writing a lengthier blog on “Last Minute Notice”… if you have been working here for a while you should be giggling right about now!

Direct Confrontation

Yes doesn’t necessarily mean Yes. As a general rule Korean’s will go out of their way to avoid a direct confrontation. I have had good and bad experiences with this… the trick is to think carefully about how you phrase your questions.

Gifts
Gift giving and receiving is very common in Korea. Gifts should always be given and accepted with two hands and they should never be opened in the presence of the giver. Do not buy outrageously expensive gifts because then the receiver will feel it is necessary to reciprocate with a gift of the same value. Wrapping is important (bright colours are better) and do not give; knives or scissors as they symbolize cutting off the relationship, anything with red writing, or anything in a set of four as the latter two both denote death.

If you are invited to a Korean’s home it is polite to take a gift. Korean’s traditionally bring washing powder or toilet tissue… a little different from home – but useful! (Candies, cakes, cookies or fruit are equally acceptable if you are not comfortable lugging a 24 pack of cottonelle.)

Things to avoid doing / remember to do:
- Do not point at people, or waggle your finger at them when telling them off, this is something only done to animals.
- Do not write someone’s name in red ink.
- When using the “come here” gesture make sure your palm faces down – if it faces up it is considered to be the same as the way you would scratch a dog’s chin.
- Give and receive everything with two hands.
- Treat business cards with respect – with the same respect as you would treat the person who gave it to you.
- Always refuse the first offer for more food… and don’t leave anything on your plate. It is generally shared eating if you are eating Korean food so you should not take more than you can eat.
- No touching! Unless you are a relative or close friend it as seen as a personal violation to touch someone.
- Eating and drinking with someone is a way of beginning and / or building a friendship. If you want to make a good impression… have dinner! Oh, and don’t refuse the after dinner drinks!
- Never show cleavage. Ever. Short skirts, however, are fine and many restaurants will give you an apron to put over your knee if you have to sit of the floor.
- Expect personal questions – this is not considered to be impolite.

A few random beliefs & / or superstitions:

- Washing your hair on the day of a big test will wash away your memory – don’t do it!
- If you buy a pair of shoes for your boyfriend or girlfriend they will leave you… **Guys I assure you this isn’t true – with most girls I know…buy many pairs of shoes and they will stay forever!
- If you sleep in a room with a fan on and the windows closed you will die.
- Dreaming of pigs is good luck while dreaming of dogs is bad luck.
- The number 4 is unlucky – which is why in many elevators the numbers will go; 1,2,3,F,5…
- If you are born with big ears you will be rich. (This could be true if you take Prince Charles into account.)
- If you blow a whistle at night snakes will come.

If I have missed anything or you have any questions feel free to let me know by posting below!